Ikea Causes Shopping Riot in Phoenix

Ikea opened in Phoenix yesterday with an offer to give all the furniture on the cover of their latest catalog to the first customer who comes in. So a guy camped out in front of the store for like a week to score the big prize. Ikea also offered free chairs to the first 100 customers who showed up. Apparently 25,000 people in Phoenix have absolutely nowhere to sit. The traffic around the store got so bad, the police had to close off the nearest highway exit. Store officials say they will be completely wiped out of inventory within two weeks, unless they start working their little Swedish elves around the clock. Poor little buggers.